As this LE was on March 27th, it fell a couple days away from National Joe Day (3-25) this year. National Joe Day is where anyone and everyone can be named Joe for that day, so, everyone, myself included, was Joe. And there was a big surprise for Foul Mouth Girl. The LE two weeks ago had actually been the nearest one to her birthday, which was on March 10th. But it was decided that it would be celebrated on this night with a big surprise party for her. She was very surprised. Happy Birthday, Foul Mouth Girl! There were a ton of people, nearer to two tons. The entire The Metallic Onslaught, Adam, EVD, Dave (amazingly!), Just Joe, two members of the band Zadoc And The Nightmare Zadoc and Az, Kal, Tracy, Another Adam, and Little Gorgar. There were cupcakes and balloons, lots of balloons. Everyone sang "Happy Birthday To You" to Foul Mouth Girl, or, in some people's cases, more screeched it, with everyone off key, and, again, some way more than others. And, FMG would get to spend the night picking bullets from a bag, and deciding who would take them, tonight bullets were slips of paper with things written on them that should happen to someone, and FMG would decide to whom they would happen, after she drew the bullet. The first bullet was pillow fluff down Joe's pants, which normally would have meant that Just Joe would get pillow fluff stuffed down his pants, but, since it was National Joe day, and therefore everyone was Joe, so, everyone there took pillow fluff and stuffed it down their pants. Then people attacked each other with nasty pillow fluff from their pants. Then Azkath declared his own special bullet, he's the host, so he can do that, he had everyone there attack Dave with pillow fluff. Next bullet, hugs, so everyone hugged. Next one, wrestle Demon, Adam did, and got killed, finished off by a bulldog into Rick. Next one, DVD player to the head, where Rick broke a DVD player over Will's head, it made a terrific noise, and pretty much killed Will. Next one, five cane shots, in this case five people were chosen to take one cane shot each, Those five were, EVD, Rick, old, senile Joe, from The Metallic Onslaught, Josh, and Adam. Azkath did the caning, and, after he was done with the five, he caned Just Joe and old Joe some more. Then the balloon room, the bathroom, was filled with balloons, and, as many people as could fit in there, seven, although, since Randy and Rick were in there, it was more like nine. Then Adam took a bat with nails in it and started swinging it, popping balloons, and people. That wasn't a bullet, just an extra attraction. Next bullet, balloon golf. Lindsey was the golf tee, and Just Joe played balloon golf on her. He popped four balloons, the first one she held in her mouth, the rest in her hands, over her face. Next bullet, the box of evil, Azkath introduced Bill to that, it was a very heavy box, and it pretty much killed Bill. Next bullet, everyone smells the wrenches, where everyone, well, just what I just said, the wrenches have a rancid odor, enough to sicken all unlucky enough to witness it. Next bullet, box top pummel, Just Joe pummeled EVD with a box top until the box top was broken and EVD was dead. Next bullet, group hug, so everyone did. Next one, it's powder time, where Kal got powdered, he had powder thrown all over him. Next bullet, mousetraps for fingers, where Az got mousetraps snapped on his fingers, one at a time, but not his thumbs, I count my thumbs as fingers, but they don't, so he only got eight mousetrap snaps. He screamed a lot. Just Joe did the mousetrap snapping, and, as he is usually the one getting the mousetraps snapped on him, he greatly enjoyed being the one who got to do the snapping this time. Next bullet, someone gets a lap dance. Just Joe and Az gave Zadoc a lap dance, to the accompaniment of Europe's "The Final Countdown", which Just Joe LOVES, so that's always dangerous to play under any circumstances, but even more so when he's also going to be getting naked. Just Joe and Az covered Zadoc in balloon rubber from all those popped balloons, and then gave him his lap dance, it was extremely disturbing and wrong on so many levels! Next bullet, chop. Az gave Just Joe a wrestling chop, Rick Flair style. He gave him more than one, though, an Azkath gave Just Joe some chops, too. Final bullet, belly squash, but everyone who had a belly suitable for that, I.E., Randy, Rick, Dave, had left, so that one couldn't be done, perhaps another time. A few notes... This was old, senile Joe from The Metallic Onslaught's second time ever on The Last Exit. The first was when he led The Metallic Onslaught's invasion of LE, in an attempted coup to take over LE. He tried to take over the show himself tonight, but that was right before the five canes I described above, and he only got caned. It had been Adam's (not Little Gorgar's Adam, the other one) birthday a couple days ago, I don't know the exact date, they didn't give it, he turned thirty one. So everyone there gave him a couple of spankings to get to thirty one. Happy Birthday, Adam! Also, March 27th also marks the first birthday of Just Joe's Spawn, as he spawned on that day last year to punish us for not allowing him to be here for his special day. That had seemed like a good idea at the time, because we had wanted to avoid all of Just Joe's obnoxiousness, even more than usual, because having a special day just for him goes to his head. However, by doing that we got something much, much worse, he spawned, so we'll never do that again if it can at all be helped, one Just Joe, and one Just Joe spawn is way more than enough! So, a very Happy First Birthday, Little Just Joe Spawn! There were five segments of Movie Time, with Foul Mouth Girl, Adam (not Little Gorgar's Adam, the other one), and Just Joe participating at various times, yes, Just Joe finally had some movies to contribute this time, ones that weren't kid movies he watched with his spawn. This was Adam's first Movie Time, and he did really well, so well, that he was told to come back every week for Movie Time, even though he lives in another state, I'm sure he can manage that. The last hour of the program was The Rare Obscure And Classic Music Hour, which is just what it's title states...
Playlist
Pictures of Pain "Far Beyond"
Vinder "Where Evil Dwells"
Sign of the Jackyl "Heavy Metal Demons"
Kampfar "Volvevers"
Of Wrath and Ruin "Lust and Love"
Woods of Ypres "Everything I Touch Turns to Gold / By the Time You Read This"
Belphegor "Possessed Burning Eyes 1997"
New Animal "Hey Jude"
Psychostick "Beer" (R)
Protest the Hero "Moonlight"
Winds of Plague "The Warrior Code / Against the World"
Nightshade "Winner (or Not)"
Royal Dano "Inescapable"
Blood Feast "Blood Lust"
Kvelertak "SOS"
Static People "The Late Projectionist"
Midas Fate "History Repeats Itself"
Blackguard "Iblis / The Fear of All Flesh"
Becoming the Archetype "The Magnetic Sky"
Obscrura "Prismal Dawn"
Zadoc and the Nightmare "Between - Live in Studio"
Hangman's Heart "The Blame"
Vicious Rumors "Paint It Black"
Sorrowseed "The Golden Plague"
Aiden "Horror Queen"
Agnostic Front "Us Against the World"
Goes Cube "Year of the Human"
BRASH "Prepare for Battle" (R)
Order of the Dead "Subversion"
Tormenta "Hours of Darkness"
Haeresiarchs of Dis "Onward Through the Oculus / Remembrance of He Who Defied God"
Phobia "Cthonic Sacrifice"
Subjektive "Watch This Space"
Ed Gein "Be Faster Than Reflective"
One Eyed-Doll "Battle On!"
Scholar "The Rift"
The Haunted "The Skull"
Zadoc and the Nightmare "Long Way from Home"
Roger Miret and the Disasters "Road to Nowhere"
Long Distance Calling "Middleville"
Volbeat "Fallen"
Insane Ian "Super Epic Video Game Medley II Championship Edition"
Dreadnaughts "Black Sea Gale"
The One Through Tens "Eye for an Eye"
Ana Kefr "Paedophilanthrope"
Savage Grave "Trial by Fire"
Yngwie Malmsteen's Rising Force "I'll See the Light Tonight"
Wild Dogs "Psychoradio"
Krank "Rented Heat"
Cerebral Fix "Tower of Spite"
Warlord "Black Mass"
Flotsam and Jetsam "NE Terror"
Sanctuary "Die for My Sins"
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